I guess it was about a month ago (time goes by too damn quickly these days) that I was sitting on the couch with the old lady while she was flipping channels. She rarely even pauses for a blink as she passes by the cable news networks but this time she stopped on Fox to see the breaking news that an arrest had been made in connection with the death of pregnant soldier, Megan Touma. I was looking down reading my book but I kept hearing the name Edgar Patino, Edgar Patino, Edgar Patino. I looked up at my wife and said "I wonder if he's a soldier. It seems like if he was, they'd be calling him Sgt. Patino or Spec. Patino or something like that."

I went to bed. About an hour later wifey joined me and reported that after my remark she flipped to CNN to see what they were saying and, sure enough, they were reporting that Sgt. Edgar Patino had been arrested in connection with the murder. I just chuckled. I knew that the next day the folks at Fox News would also be calling him Sgt. Patino, so why make the omission? Maybe Fox News didn't have the details yet as the story was just breaking. But, it does seem like a rather relevant detail and one you would want to include in your breaking news coverage. Oh well.

Then, last night, the ball and chain and I were watching one of those unbelievable real life video shows on truTV, formerly known as CourtTV. One of the videos was of some liquor store security footage showing a botched robbery in Oceanside, California.

I watched as the they interviewed the store owner, as they mentioned that this was just one of a series of robberies by the same suspect, as they showed the suspect being shot (unfortunately it was not a fatal wound) in the act, and I listened as they named the crook, McKenzie Smith. Now, anyone who knows Oceanside knows that it borders on Camp Pendleton and thus it is crawling with Marines. So, my first reaction was to turn to wifey again and say "I wonder if he's a Marine." They made no mention of it on truTV but, if so, it seems like it would be a relevant or at least a very interesting detail. A quick Google search was fruitful. It turns out that McKenzie Smith also goes by Lance Corporal and, totally unmentioned on truTV, he was aided in his crime spree by Navy Corpsman Quintel Brooks. Again, I just laughed.

I know it's not a shocker that these omissions are made and maybe it's not even a big deal but it makes me wonder: In high profile cases, like that of Edgar Patino, such details can't be hidden but where they can be ignored, I wonder how common a practice it is, or how common a desire it is, to ignore the military membership of criminals.

From the New York Times comes an interesting story about how the market liberalization of India is benefiting the lower castes, who have been spat on for countless generations.

When Chandra Bhan Prasad visits his ancestral village in these feudal badlands of northern India, he dispenses the following advice to his fellow untouchables: Get rid of your cattle, because the care of animals demands children’s labor. Invest in your children’s education instead of in jewelry or land. Cities are good for Dalit outcastes like us, and so is India’s new capitalism.

...

He has the zeal of an ideological convert: he used to be a Maoist revolutionary who, by his own admission, dressed badly, carried a pistol and recruited his people to kill their upper-caste landlords. He claims to have failed in that mission.

Mr. Prasad is a contrarian. He calls government welfare programs patronizing. He dismisses the countryside as a cesspool. Affirmative action is fine, in his view, but only to advance a small slice into the middle class, who can then act as role models. He calls English “the Dalit goddess,” able to liberate Dalits.

Along with India’s economic policies, once grounded in socialist ideals, Mr. Prasad has moved to the right. He is openly and mischievously contemptuous of leftists. “They have a hatred for those who are happy,” he said.

For the rest of the article, not to be accused of being pro-market, the New York Times reporter endeavors to prove that Mr. Prasad is completely full of shit.

From across India still come reports of brutality against untouchables trying to transcend their destiny.

It is a measure of the hardships of rural India that so many Dalits in recent years are migrating to cities for back-breaking, often unregulated jobs, and that those who remain in their villages consider sharecropping a step up from day labor.

Blah blah. Less of you, more of the plucky Prasad, who would probably feel right at home on the ASC forums.

As some of you may know, there is an event going on in the United States called the Democratic National Convention. Occuring every four years, it is a stunning display of banality, stupidity, and money being thrown down a hole by a mixture of rich idiots, special interest groups, and corporations. This is accompanied by breathless coverage in newspapers and on cable TV, desperately searching for "storylines" so that they can actually try and make it interesting, with little success. One really can't blame them, the challenge seems akin to hyping up a game of curling at the Special Olympics. No matter how many interviews you do, they're still retards doing things no one actually cares about.

One of its chief flaws seems to be that it is an event at which nothing actually happens, but the people there go through the motions as if something is actually happening. Most of the people there are from state delegations, which consist of stupid assholes wearing "funny" hats, so that they can bring their inner douche even more strongly to the surface.

These delegates pretend like they're doing important things by voting for the guy that already won. Some of them are butthurt supporters of Hillary Clinton, who care an awful lot about her name being put forward as a Presidential Candidate as a symbolic recognition that she's a really evil bitch who almost got to be President. This was the closest thing yesterday to actual drama, as there was some question whether or not the DNC would actually do this, or just tell her crybaby supporters to shut the fuck up. Though I haven't really checked because I don't care, I think the DNC actually did put her name in. Excitement!

Outside the convention, batshit commie protesters walk around with signs, sing songs, dress up as fucking turtles, and do a bunch of other stupid shit so that they can feel like they're actually accomplishing something. Hey, fucking hippies, want to make your point and entertain me? Quit being a bunch of pussies and actually start a real riot, you fucking suburbanites. You act hardcore, but we all know you're actually too bourgeoisie to light some cars on fire. I'm calling you out, even you "black bloc" types that think you're really scary and dangerous. All I ever see you do is throw some rocks. I bet the cops have a good laugh deflecting your pitiful attacks, before surrounding you in full body armor and riot shields, and beating the fuck out of you as you thrash on the pavement and claw at your tear gassed eyes, crying about police brutality.

For an event that costs over $160 million, I really think there should be more entertainment value than this. I am, however, holding out some hope. Barack Obama is set to give a rousing speech to 80,000 plus packed in to a football stadium, a spectacle which might actually rival the Nazis at Nuremberg.

If you haven't seen Triumph of the Will, go rent it, its an excellent documentary about the best political convention ever. Even it has its boring parts to fast forward through as old, unexciting assholes talk, but Goebells and Hitler are fucking gold.

I'm hoping Obama can summon up some of the same cult of personality fervor in that arena. After all, they did love him in Germany, and since they also liked Adolf and JFK, Barack is in good company among the most charismatic politicians of all time. I can picture women holding up their babies to him, and then probably fainting, sending their soft little heads crashing to the floor before they trod underfoot by the mob rushing forward to just touch Obama's hand as he enters the arena. Oh, that could be beautiful.

But I really doubt it. No one can give a good speech anymore, every word is too carefully calibrated and drained of all strength and vigor. Today's politicians reflect that, they're either effeminate like Obama, or probably too old to actually fuck, like John McCain, who if elected will die from complications of Viagra. I mean, can you actually picture Barack Obama getting an erection and fucking his wife? How were those children produced?

So, tonight, Obama gives his speech in the arena. Maybe tune in for that, it might be worth watching. Get in your best approximation of a fascist uniform, and give Barack a real nice and right arm salute when he takes the stage. Or if fascism isn't your style, go with the messianic angle. Maybe build a shrine and burn some candles. Get in to it! Have fun! Yes you can!

All the luffa sponges in the world won't exfoliate this story:

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=c-OpIXfXKO8

Apparently Fox News really does get its talking points from the White House. The news network has been the administration's stealth marketer for the past eight years, relaying prefab packages and passing them off as genuine dispatches and opinion.

Pot, Kettle, Black.

LOS ANGELES - Presidential longshot Ron Paul beat the one-day fundraising record Monday afternoon when a special pledge drive yielded over $3 million in an 18-hour period. The record was previously held by fellow Republican candidate Mitt Romney.

Paul, who stands out as the singular opponent of the Iraq War among the major candidates of both parties, rose to prominence following controversial remarks made during the Republican debates regarding the events of September 11th. The Paul campaign has seen a steady rise in popularity in the months following, highlighted most noteably by his frequent victories in online polls. Paul's popularity among the online community gave rise to early accusations of online poll tampering, leading to speculation as to the actual size of his constituency. Supporters hope Monday's fundraising results will put those accusations to rest.

Hating the troops is sort of my calling card. The feeling of revulsion I have for people who sign up with an organization whose only purpose is to kill (considering the military hasn't been used for strict national defense in...well, ever) has tended to cover every member of the military, with notable exceptions: those who, though naive in joining, are horrified enough by the deeds of the military that they refuse to deploy to warzones. Most of them have just skipped country to Canada or hid out at home, which is fine, but lately the news has been full of the case of Lt. Ehren Watada, who publicly and loudly has proclaimed the illegality of and his opposition to the war in Iraq.

Now, I'm not a gooshy type that tears up at grand proclamations of principle, but this guy has balls and I am really amazed at his intellect and clarity. Fuck the douchebags occupying Iraq -- Watada is the hero.

"There was a long time when I went through depression because I told myself I didn't have a choice. That I joined the military and I had only one duty and that was to obey what I was told, regardless of how I felt inside. It really hurt me for a long time because I imprisoned myself by telling myself I didn't have a choice. It didn't matter that I might be sent to prison. I was already in prison, my freedom was already gone.

"When I told myself that I do have a choice, I have a choice to do what is morally right, what is in my conscience, and what I can live with for the rest of my life--even though that comes with consequences, I do have that choice. When I realized that, and when I chose what was right for me, I became free again. And I think everybody has to remember that and to realize that is what is important in life."

This, when most soldiers can barely scrawl their own names.

Problem: War in Iraq is fueling terrorism and Islamic radicalism.

Solution: Stay the course.

Translation: We started this fire and, by God, we are going to keep throwing gasoline on it 'til it goes out.

For drug possession.

I feel so much safer knowing that the 73 year old legend has been busted along with Tony Sizemore, 59, St. Cloud, Fla.; Bobbie Nelson, 75, Briarcliff, Texas; Gates Moore, 54, Austin, Texas; David Anderson, 50, Dallas. Obviously, all are seasoned and dangerous criminals and subversives.

Let's face it, if Willie can corrupt the kick ass All-American Toby Keith, then could the fall of Western civilization be that far behind?

JK Rowling clashed with airport security after they attempted to confiscate the manuscript of what, critics and fans believe, will be the explosive finale to the Harry Potter series.

Eventually, Rowling was allowed to board her plane with the manuscript, which, fortuitously, did not detonate in flight.