Arrogant and Inept at Every Level

by Rick Gee

Because I live outside the city limits of Santa Fe, New Mexico, I have to haul my own trash to the county transfer station (Newspeak for “the dump”). Santa Fe County graciously allows its subjects two free trips to the dump per calendar month. 

They say it’s a free service but it’s really anything but. There are many costs that are not initially visible. First, it took me four phone calls to determine which of the area “transfer stations” is closest to my home. When I finally spoke to someone possessing this knowledge, she couldn’t provide directions. Finding that elusive piece of information required another three phone calls. Cost, in time wasted and blood pressure elevated: 39 minutes and 10 points on the diastolic. 

Second: Imagine the stench emanating from 8-10 bags of kitchen and household garbage steaming in the hot, high-desert sun for two weeks. Can you say maggots? “Hey honey, where’s my gas mask?” 

Third: After sending in the application for a permit via snail mail (the web site wasn’t working—ever notice that you never have any trouble ordering online from Laissez Faire Books, for example?), I anxiously awaited the valuable card to come to me via my dedicated postal carrier. Instead, all I received was one of those yellow slips indicating that Santa Fe County had sent me some official certified mail and would I please come down to the post office to pick up this precious piece of correspondence? Again, since I don’t live in the city, I don’t have a mailbox in front of my house; it’s a half-mile down the road. Funny how UPS has no trouble dropping packages right on my doorstep. 

So I would have to make the dreaded trip to the post office. Of course, these guys perfected arrogant and inept long ago. Arriving in the lobby, I encountered thirty of my fellow servants waiting ahead of me. Luckily, I had Henry Hazlitt’s Economics in One Lesson with me, which softened the blow of the inevitable interminable wait ahead. 

After ingesting a couple of chapters, the indifferent postal functionary called my number at last. He sauntered languidly to the back room to fetch the mail, only to return empty-handed. 

“What’s your new zip code?” he droned. 

“I think it’s 87508.” The powers-that-be had added some new zip codes to our burgeoning community just a week earlier. 

The postal clerk informed me that I would have to pick up my valuable certified mail at the Mall post office. Can you imagine a business owner changing his location and not sending his customers a post card informing them of his new address? Time wasted: 37 minutes. 

So, off to the other postal “service” location. Hey, things are looking up: no one else there! Upon being presented the yellow slip, the clerk intoned that I would need to print my name, sign my name, and print my address. 

I flipped the slip over and indicated to this slacker that my name and address were already printed on the other side. 

“I need you to print your name, sign your name, and print your address, RIGHT HERE.” 

To assert that he delivered this reproach in a condescending manner would be a gross understatement. I quickly chicken-scratched the demanded information in my best doctor’s scrawl and walked briskly out of that place that dashes men’s hopes and crushes their souls. Another 14 minutes wasted. 

Have you ever wondered why it’s always the postal workers who go berserk and shoot up the place? Wouldn’t it be far more plausible if it were the patrons who went nuts? 

Back to the hidden costs. Then of course there is the two to fours hours a month it takes to actually load the trash, drive to the “transfer station,” unload the refuse and drive back home. The four-hour range allows for the distinct possibility that trucks will be lined up in a queue rivaling that of a day at the DMV. 

After this wretched experience, I immediately decided to check the yellow pages for a private trash collection service. Much to my delight, I found a company that will pick up my trash right from my driveway for only $21 per month. Why does this seem so much cheaper than the “free” “service” provided by the worthless government? 

July 17, 2001