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Austrians in Da Hood
by David Brown
9/26/2002

The respected industry journal Rapperz in Da Hood Weekly recently enjoyed a rare opportunity to interview D-Cool Spontaneous-Order, the anarchist well-read rapper, about his non-mainstream views and philosophy. They sent their best man to get the lowdown on this bodacious freakazoid.

Q. Thank you for joining us today, Mr. Spontaneous-Order, and for taking a moment from your busy tour to do so.

A. Yo, wus up wi 'dat? Thank YOU, bro'!

Q. Okay. You call yourself an Austrian, you call yourself an anarchist. What does that mean, some kind of neo-Nazi thing? Some fans are confused. Some reporters are confused. This reporter is confused...what's that thick blue book you're carrying around...what does it say...uh...Human Action? What's that, some kind of break-dancing manual?

A. First, I want to give a shout-out to my babes, my aunties, my crib-mates, li'il brother Joe...

Q. Okay, we're not on MTV here. This is a print interview.

A. What it is, is spontaneous order, okay? So I did something that ain't done, but guess what, they still is gonna be glad I shouted out to them, uh huh. Because that's the market. Cuz it's in print, they ain't gonna like it? Fuck. They can read. And if they couldn't, I could get a tape recording. Ain't that a tape recorder? That's the market baby. Commies didn't invent the tape recorder.

Q. What about the Austrian neo-Nazi thing?

A. Man, don't they teach you college freaks nothin' in journalizing school? Austrianism, in my context, yo, is rappin' and tappin' the historical roots of a theoretical development.

Q. "Theoretical Development," what's that, a rock group of some kind?

A. Man, is you stoopid? It's when you think and think and think and you come up with one idea and you build on somebody else's idea and it becomes a school, a separate school, distinct, and people freak out because it's like, whoa, so paradigmatic! It's economics. It's human action. To maximize satisfaction.

Q. Okay, I'm trying to understand this. So, in your way of doing things, people get together and they start spending a little money, start acting out...getting some action...maybe there's some Ecstasy going around...a Stones album playing in the background....

A. Economic theory. Can you query? Are you queery? Economic theory. A music that ain't rap, but abstrack. Sure it can be applied and it's one basis of my lyrics. But don't confuse a tune with a treatise, Cletis. Man, don't you prep for interview?

Q. Well....

A. I'm startin' to frown, clown.

Q. You rappers must put in overtime on those rhymes. What do you do, go to the Jesse Jackson School of Rhyme Overtime...uh...

A. Huh.

Q. Okay. You say it's a theory. What's this theory of human action you're talking about?

A. People act. They is motivated. They is guided by their purposes. They ain't ants and they ain't pebbles on the beach. As Ludwig von Mises says in this here volume: "Human action is, yo, the purposeful behavior. Or put it this way, dawg: Action is will enacted into operation and transformed into an agency, is aiming at ends and goals, is the ego's meaningful response to stimuli and to the conditions of its environment, is a person's conscious adjustment to the state of the universe that determines his life. Such paraphrases may clarify the definition given and prevent possible misinterpretations. But the definition itself is adequate and does not need complement or commentary."

So true, Lu! You go girl!

Q. That's it? That's the big insight? People act and have motives when they act?

A. That is straight up! Word! But do you think the economics profession straight through accepts and applies that fack, Mack? We're like cogs in GDP, so predictable, in their little economic formulae that are a lie. They've gotta mastermind us, they've gotta central-plan us, scam us, can and spam us. So they throw their statistics around to pound and hound all the individual egos and our plans, stomping each individual's aim with their central one. That ain't no fun, Hun. So my alternative is: none. Just the ego and his own and maybe a shotgun.

Q. Okay. Whatever. How does all this fit into your songs? Have you got some sheet music you can share with our readers today?

A. Here is a tune. Goes like this. Er-ahem. Ahem.

Yo bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch bureaucrat.

You so phat, bitch-crat,

You so phat, bitch-crat

You so sweet and phat--NOT:

Excepting fat on the social dole

Tax dole

Bitch, keep your hands to yourself bitch

Hands to yourself bitch

I said No

I said No

I said No

Don't think a man like me got no Control?

Your wallet-grabbing disturbs the unhampered market order

Cuz then I can't pay the rent, bitch!!!

Give some thought to the knowledge-distributing

role of the price mechanism

As I cap your sorry ass

Q. Uh, thank you. That's a (w)rap....

September 26, 2002


David M. Brown is a freelance writer and editor, and the publisher of The Crunch Report.

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